When people “play hard to get,” I can’t help but immediately lose interest.
Because I don’t ever do the same. Maybe I’m not mysterious or alluring in that way, but I wear my heart on my sleeve so it’ll be easy to give, once I want to. If I like you, you’ll know I like you. I don’t hold back or hide. I don’t know how. I don’t try.
And while I feel that “playing hard to get” could be successful in drawing someone closer to you… it isn’t because they like you. It’s because they like themselves. By playing hard to get, you’re playing on their ego. Think about it. When you get angry at rejection or impatient with silence, when you’re wondering “why aren’t they texting me?,” isn’t there an element of egotism to that? I know that when I feel ignored or neglected, it isn’t always painful because I want them that much closer. Sometimes it’s upsetting because I feel like I’m not good enough for their attention or interest. My heart doesn’t get hurt, my pride does. And when they finally do reach out, it’s not like a ‘happily ever afterrr omg I’ve missed you my whole life.’ It’s more like a ‘about damn time cuz those 3 days were doing horrible things to my self-esteem.’
Things could, of course, work out with “playing hard to get.” They do, all the time. But I, personally, see love as being characterized by the things you can’t stop yourself from doing, not actively depriving someone in hopes that they’ll crave you. Wanting someone, and not being afraid to show them. It’s an innocent way of thinking, actually. A mindset that can easily get you hurt or embarrassed. But I never want to “play hard to get” with someone that I want to have me. In fact, I never want to play, period. People aren’t toys and feelings aren’t accessories. Love isn’t a game, and you won’t win by playing.