The downfall of a relationship, even in comparison to the definite end of one, is, in my opinion, one of the most heartbreaking things to go through, or even witness.
Too often I’ve seen different hardships break people down individually- losing loved ones, financial troubles, natural disasters.. events that temporarily (or maybe longer,) rob you of your happiness, extinguish your spark and fire, quell your lust for life, in even the most vibrant and resilient among us. It’s sad, so sad, to see people lose a bit of themselves here and there through the loss of different things in their lives.
But in relationships, the deterioration of what once was is even sadder- because what is being destroyed is something those two people have created and built together, on their own. All the meaningful & feelingful words, glances, touches, jokes, stories, photos…. once vividly and intensely shared between the two is reduced to a faint shadow of a memory that used to evoke so much. I hate to make movie references, but it’s like in 500 Days of Summer, when Tom and Summer are doing all the things they used to do in the beginning of their relationship, but instead of being giddy and giggly, they are gloomy and distant, their conversations lackluster, their intimacy nonexistent or neglected, their company a bit too comfortable, their passion drained to depletion. It’s a fact: a relationship that doesn’t end in marriage always rises, then falls. Builds then breaks. Exists, then.. doesn’t. And some facts are just very, very sad.
This has led me to (besides be cynical,) believe that perhaps people are meant to graze each other’s lives, to touch, bend, and move, bringing to them both pleasure and pain and everything in between, adding to their characters and personalities.
The idea of gravity comes to mind. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, take 10th grade Physics again. I’m kidding. Basically, mass attracts mass. And in terms of people, I get this idea that the more dense someone is, the more attractive they are. That is, the more they are filled with life experiences and skills, capacity for emotion and understanding, stories, mistakes, memories, quirks, anything of substance that they’ve collected over time… the more people they attract, and the more likely they are to attract and be attracted to people of similar “density”. And more significantly, the stronger this gravitational pull will be.
Simply stated, the more substance you have, the more substance you’ll attract, and the more substantial that attraction will be.
And it’s both great and sad that people are able to experience each other and experience life, accumulating their density over time. But in terms of romantic relationships, I wonder if it is possible for each of us to find someone to be in constant orbit with. Someone whose pull is perfectly balanced with our own, in peaceful, unending, uninterrupted equilibrium. Someone whose existence is personified as a magnet that hugs your existence as a magnet, completely and thoroughly. Someone whose universe runs parallel to your own. Someone that is responsible for your Sun, your Earth, your Moon, and every single one of your stars being alive.